Mhaprolkar believes that while parents need to be supportive, even the children need to realise their mother or father’s point of view. Adding your own baggage to all that is not permissible, and would only be an additional burden.”Īlso read: Kolkata: Transgenders roped in to judge top Durga Pujas He or she may be suffering from an identity crisis at that point in time. At first, you need to realise that your child is also trying to explore and understand the changes happening internally. Psychologist and relationship expert Vidya Bansode says, “It is very important to understand that the child is not committing a crime. Visiting an expert can have two purposes - to understand what the child is going through, and to come to terms with the fact yourself, as a parent.
Sometimes it also helps to speak to a professional counsellor or psychologist. Then, they need to understand whether the trauma that their child is going through is because of their body, psychology or some other reason.” She says, “Firstly, parents have to make sure their kids are of an age where they can take such a decision. It is imperative that parents are supportive, and if that means they need to take some time to think before they react, then so be it.
Telling a child that he or she is wrong, or making him or her feel like he or she has made a mistake can lead to serious and irreparable damage as well as alienation. In such cases, relationship expert Dr Gittanjali Saxena feels that parents should avoid making any judgements on the spur of the moment. Without prior knowledge, it can be hard for them to accept or come to terms with such a revelation. Take for instance, a situation in which a set of parents are suddenly confronted with information about their children’s sexual orientation.
“Some parents don’t even discuss the issue with their children, even though they know that they only have half information,” she says.Īlso read: 17 transgender students register for PG this year The solution, says Mhaprolkar, is setting up a clear channel of communication.
They worry about what people will say or if society will accept their child,” she says, adding that lack of awareness and information are some “major issues” hindering India’s progress on this front. There is shame associated with the issue. They feel that this can’t be happening to their children. “Parents of transgender individuals tend to be in denial. Hemangi Mhaprolkar, a clinical psychologist who specialises in issues faced by the LGBT community, says that she often finds herself counselling her clients’ mothers and fathers. While Shivy was able to somehow approach the authorities at the Delhi High Court for help, there are several Indian families who are completely unprepared when it comes to dealing with such revelations. Their decision made news, and shocked many worldwide, while throwing light on how complex a parent-child relationship can get in such situations. In anger, his parents brought him to India under the pretence of his grandmother’s illness, and confiscated his passport, and abandoned him here. Next month, she confiscated Shivy’s computer, and after going through his phone, she found out that he had a girlfriend. His mother believed that girls should have long hair, while boys should keep it short. It all started when Shivy, an American resident, wanted to cut his hair short. The story of Shivy - an 18-year-old transgender who was born a girl named Shivani Bhatt - shook the world as it made news internationally and in India.